Gertrude

This is Gertrude and she is a GIRL.
Yes, like those "boys" with huge asses are "male." You know the ones I'm talking about that you've seen floating around. Because this is TOTALLY following realistic anatomy and proportions for a gender. (hurr hurr hurr)

She is a beautiful laydee and she likes to knit sweaters and caps. She spends her time in the woods as a lumberjackess (not lumberjackass, which is what I am) and she has a wonderful boyfriend named Horace, who I will draw later.
Trust me, he's awesome and will make you shit your pants. Totally.
She has the best table manners and wants to sing like Hannah Montana. Her role model is Lady Gaga. She also likes ponies and pink unicorns and tea time and playing pretend.
And she wants to hold your wood.

ORIGINUL KARUKTUR DEW NUT STEEL.

(and yes, this is parody.)