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Manga by ShinraiNoTenshi


Submitted on
November 24, 2009
Image Size
1.2 MB


1,001 (1 today)
31 (who?)
Athena MAX by AphexAngel Athena MAX by AphexAngel
(apologies for size. Devart keeps putting a weird line across her hips at the 1280 resolution)

Lol long legs are long.

MAX artwork for Dotchan on Comicdish.

Character is hers, and was inspired by Sailor Moon.

Design inspired by SlipGateCentral's design on Dominance War [link]
and by Marvel's Witchblade.

Some Legend of Dragoon probably worked it's way in there too, I dunno. =P Also some stuff from Dogs: Bullets and Carnage by Miwa Shirow.

Unfortunately, I don't really have the time to color this one, so it'll stay as inkwork.
Whatev. On to the next pic!
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NotSuper Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2009
I like Sailor Moon myself (oddly enough, I seem to like magical girl characters), but this design is really much better. I've always liked organic looking armor and multiple eyes.
AphexAngel Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2009  Student Digital Artist
Organic armor ftw.
ArdentNinja Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hmm, critiquing in comment field due to lack of sub, as usual..

I love her face. It is gorgeous. In fact, the face alone overrides much of what I will say about the rest of the piece. It is a face I can just gaze at and really enjoy the beauty of.

Now, getting on to the rest of the piece, I'll start with the overall impression and posing. The piece has presence and a nice powerful appearance, and the pose is rock-solid from the top to just above her knees. Right at her knees and further down, it starts to weaken, and her knees and calves and feet don't seem to match the rest of the pose, and lack the intense power that the rest of the pose possesses. The knees should either be more flexed and the feet spread wider (action/agile stance), or the knees mostly locked and stiff (stable/standing ground stance), to work with the rest of the pose. The wings are posed well overall, and help a bit with the perspective.

Speaking of perspective, the upper body is in perspective, along with the wings, down to the hips, but at the thighs downward it seems that she comes out of perspective, especially with the knees and at the feet, where it seems like her right (our left) knee appears to be too low, and her feet seem generally off, like the mind's eye is expecting her right foot to be further back, rather than a slight bit in front. I do see that you wanted her pose to be a sort of stepping-forward stance, with the ground being a bit uneven, and that's fine, but the ground isn't defined clearly enough with value/hatching to see the perspective and how the body works with it.

Then we come to anatomy. Hair? Looks awesome, looks right. Face? Looks awesome, looks right. Her neck is mostly great, with an extra line in there to make the muscles connect properly to her collarbone. Though I'd love to see this a bit more clearly defined, I'm fine with it the way it is, and it isn't really noticable. Her chest along her left side (our right) looks great, her breast looks great, and everything flows very nicely into her torso and hips. Her right, however, seems to be turned forward, being out of perspective, and her right breast seems too large. I'd like to see the breast and the rest of her chest on that side push further back into perspective so that her front torso forms a plane that the eye can easily translate to look right.

The interesting part is, right after the lower part of her ribcage, everything comes together wonderfully, and everything is proportional and set in perspective and it looks right. Her pelvis is proportionally a bit small for her body, but this doesn't bother me at all because it is part of the stylization being used, and that's fine. her thighs look great as they emerge strongly from her pelvis and everything looks great till we hit her knees, where the anatomy adds to the conflict found in the perspective. Visually, I accept her left (our right) knee as being 'correct' which means her right knee armor is too large and not the same shape as her left, even leaving perspective out of the picture. If we take the right knee armor and accept that it's left side (our right) is accurate, then the right side should push back a lot more, to give that balanced look that the left knee armor possesses. If we accept that the right side of the right knee armor is accurate, then the left side (our right) should be smaller in proportion, again due to the balanced look of the left knee armor.

The knees DO align with the feet, however, and this is GOOD, but the knee and feet positions are what throws me off, which I mentioned before. The alignment working makes it simply look awkward, rather than bad, so in a way, if you cover the upper body, the lower body works on its own somewhat well, but putting the two together creates visual conflict. I'd love to see more 'meat' on her calves, but that's personal taste on my part XD Her feet look okay, though it looks like her right (our left) foot is leaning to the side a little, though that could be accounted for by the uneven ground she's standing on. I'd like to see more of her ankle standing out on her right foot. Her left foot looks pretty good to me.

Now for details and rendering. The staff is wicked-looking and looks great, and I love the details and the depth you gave it. I'd love to see even more of a metallic look to the head, as right now it could be bone, it could be metal. You could put more of a sheen on it to get that look with hatching, or you could try some soft hatching to indicate bone. The wings look very right, with the one exception of the curvy large piece on the underside of the main structure being a bit too thick on her right (our left) wing compared to the left wing, but this isn't noticeable unless you really look closely. Awesome work on the top parts and the joint detail, it really makes them look both proportional and in perspective, and 3D.

Actually as I look over everything, you nailed all of it in the details, showing how it would look in 3 dimensions, adding depth with contour and hatching, and yet the lineweight looks right too, so that one doesn't get lost in the details, such that the figure still stands out and the entire image can be taken in visually without getting lost in the details.

Overall I think this is a very strong piece, with great impact and wow the details are great..but her face is the most stunning part. I could fall for that face easily. Great work :D
AphexAngel Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2009  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the in-depth critique!
I did screw it up on a lot of stuff. On the breasts, though, they're based on the angle of her shoulders. I probably either messed up on the abdomen or something else. The picture was also inked with the intention of it being colored later, which is why some of the textures weren't very well defined. I also was unsure about the design of everything after the knee, which is where the problems mostly came in.
I like drawing faces. :P
ArdentNinja Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sure thing! I did notice the angling of the shoulders, though I think I got lost as to whether they were in perspective or they were angled back and away..or both! This is a tough thing to accomplish. I can see what you mean about the lack of texture due to future color, so that makes sense. And you do draw great faces ^.^
OnionMan Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
That armor must have been a bitch to draw. And even moreso to lineart.
AphexAngel Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2009  Student Digital Artist
Nah, just took a couple of days to do it, off and on.
It's easy to just zone out and do lots of detailed lines when listening to the right kind of music.
FuzzyxPanda Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Whoah I love the detail! This is an amazing piece of work.

I've noticed that it puts lines in certain things and I have no idea why. It's rather annoying and distracting when it does that. XD
AphexAngel Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2009  Student Digital Artist
Evil, evil lines from the abyss!
What's more amazing is that I actually finished it. I usually take detail intensive stuff, put it on the back-burner and forget about it. X__X
FuzzyxPanda Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww! You little procrastinator, you. XD I put a lot of things on the back burner. I'm so lazy. D:
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